Things I Will Not Miss About This Summer Separation Business

As of August 7th Zack is done with his summer associateship in Minneapolis. It totally flew by, right? I know! And I wasn't even the soggy, drippy puddle of squishiness and tears that I expected to be (for lo, I am Emotionally Dependent) (also apparently exceptionally brilliant at summering alone, thankyouverymuch) (and loving on those parenthesis today).

And since it's clear from past posts on this here bloggity blog that I am List Master, here's one crafted lovingly to convey all the things I will not miss once he is back in Chicago full-time.

1) Taking the dog out EVERY EFFING TIME. I am way over that.

2) Having random discussions about Important Things over the phone because we will not see each other at home. Particularly discussions of the While-I'm-At-Work variety.

3) Carrying all the heavy shit home from the grocery store (note to self: Quit being the douche of your own life and pick up some freakin' cat litter already. No more putting it off in the hope that some burly dude will magically appear to carry it for you. That stank is getting out of hand).

4) Frying my own bacon. Those grease droplets that spit up at you are ouchy!

5) Airports can suck it. Particularly the security checkers at Midway who took 25+ minutes to check my stuff when there was no line whatsoever and the Delta/Northwest checker-inner guy who was a bitch to me when my flight was canceled from O'Hare for no particular reason. Wait! No! Airports I love you! Please don't make me take the MegaBus again! NOOOOO!

6) Doing ALL the housework ALL by myself ALL the time. I am not so generous as to take joy in doing all the chores for my beloved like some people I know.

7) Doing aaaaaaall my laundry only to pack it all up and smush it all into a suitcase [because I way overpack no matter where I'm going or for how long] thus ruining the fresh-from-the-dryer wrinkle-freeness of the clothes and then back home not having the "I'm living out of a suitcase" excuse for being wrinkly because technically I - ahem - don't have to live out of my suitcase anymore even though I am. Not that I do that for weeks after I return from a trip or anything.

8) Except that this summer I can't live out of my suitcase for weeks at a time because I am repacking the damn thing like every fifth day or some shit. To go to Minnesota. Which I thoroughly enjoy, for the record. But traveling so much is exhausting and I would like a weekend here or there to do things like see my friends or visit my mom. Or just laze about in my underwear all day, you know?

9) Eating cereal for dinner every. single. night. Cooking for one sucks.

10) Zack is super awesome at remembering to kick the cats the fuck out of our bedroom at night. Me, well, not so much.

1 Response on "Things I Will Not Miss About This Summer Separation Business"

  1. Sabrina says:

    Thanks for the shout out!

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