The Crazy

While we're sharing our sex dreams and posting pictures of our asses, I think it's time I made a little Internet Confession. Step into the Confessional, friends, and behold.

I have baby fever. Which shall heretofore be known as "The Crazy".

[Peeps one eye open] Whew.

Pretty much every time I see a human being under the age of, oh, twelve (because who wants an ucky twelve-year-old with attitude, blech!) I get all "OMG BAAAAYBEEE!" and Zack is all "OMG YOU'RE A FREAK ISN'T THERE A VACCINE FOR THIS?!"

Clearly we do not have similar feelings re: The Crazy.

While I am a steaming pile of hormonal mush, Zack's all responsible and adult and reminds me that we uhhhhh live in 680 square feet, dumbass.Which we do. So squishing even an infant in with us and our three (yes, three) pets seems crowded at best. Not to mention little details like Money! and Childcare! and School! and Newlyweds! and did I mention Money!

Seriously, though, you guys don't even understand. I don't WANT to feel this way. Logically, I comprehend how un-ready we are. But damn if I can keep from being a damn puddle every time a baby poops.

Aaaaawww BAYBEE POOPS. I mean...gross. Do you see? Do you see how this is not okay?

Let me also add to this list that very few of my friends have kids, are married, or are even really ready to settle down and start thinking about that stuff. Which, like, cool. Enjoy your twenties and do all that other junk when you're ready. Later. Except...could you talk Zack into a baby for me? I mean... What? Did I just say that out loud?

It's actually taken me quite some time to go public with this Personal Life Development. Mostly due to the fact that I know I am quite alone in my desire for a baby within my social circle, but also because...okay, COME BAAAAACK into the Confessional....

I've discovered Mommy Blogs. They are delicious. And I love them very much. Gah.

Wow, getting that off my chest didn't really make me feel any less lame for being addicted to mommy blogs. But...they are so witty...and funny...and amusing...and I just said three words that all mean the same thing.

In all seriousness, though, I have always liked kids and been good with them (former preschool teacher and oldest of seven, holler!). I feel like I'm SUPPOSED to be a mom. So I feel a certain bond, or kinship, or understanding with these women who are totally In Love with their kids. Sometimes I read their posts and am like "oh yeah, I totally get what you mean!" and other times I am like "wow, I can't even imagine what that must be like". But I know that someday, and someday soon, I'll be ready for it all.

And honestly, I just can't wait.

2 Responses on "The Crazy"

  1. Jon Grip says:

    If a tree falls on a baby in a forest and no one is around to hear it, is it still hilarious?

    Jon Grip says:

    Oh also - do Mommy Blogs typically have asses and sex dreams??? Cause see, I'm into those, but not so much the baybee poop.

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